Currently, the number one killer and cause of chronic disease is stress; which causes heart attacks, diabetes, asthma and obesity, just to name a few. But what causes continuously high stress levels that can no longer be dealt with by the body? Being unhappy, feeling powerless, not getting what you want in life and feeling stuck.
How we feel and perceive the world creates our reality and therefore determines how successful, happy and healthy we are. A twisted mind causes a twisted heart and body! And please let’s not start with the excuse of happy people getting sick as well. I will always argue that a sick mind and soul are the top reasons for most chronic conditions, such as asthma, fibromyalgia, headaches, chest pains, high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, obesity, etc..
Let me share how the chain reaction started and then progressed over 7 years. I started out with a sick upbringing, which created a sick way of perceiving the world and those in it. I had no tools to attract good things, because I also had no knowledge of how “happy” looked like. I felt most comfortable with other broken people, because they allowed me to shift the focus away from me, as I tried to help them get well. Of course, this plan never worked; instead I kept finding myself betrayed, abandoned, back-stabbed and used; which made me more and more angry, hurt and feeling hopeless and powerless. The more powerless I felt, the less I spoke up and tried to fight back. Instead, I bottled it up, until my body started to become sicker and sicker. I had no energy anymore, which made me not want to move, but sleep all the time. Being inactive made me gain weight, which made me feel worse. Then I started developing asthma, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I had heart palpitations, chest pains, joint pains and headaches all the time; at one point (6 years ago) I had a nervous breakdown and ended up hospitalized for 2 weeks. Finally, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
Years went by, in which my health would go up and down. The more stress I experienced, the worse things would get for me physically. The doctors would run more tests, give me anti-anxiety meds and steroids and send me on my merry way. My negative experiences and outlook literally turned my body into a toxic dump that was no longer able to properly dispose of stress (hence, high cortisol levels, because my adrenals were working non-stop). I had to make a conscious decision to get well, because I was, well, in the truest sense, sick and tired.
I have talked about it many times and feel it is important to repeat it; there has to be some kind of light that goes on in one’s head. Some people may call it rock-bottom, others may call it being tired of their own BS, but there has to be a moment of complete self-awareness; I call it the “oh-shit” moment. As long as people are still afforded some kind of comfort by feeding their own misery and story, they will not shift and continue with their patterns, no matter how miserable they are.
In the past 3 years I have finally reached almost all the goals I have set. I finally found the career I wanted with a company that rivals Yahoo in pay, environment and responsibilities. I am starting my new job on the first of November. I found the man that fits who I am and loves me unconditionally and I married him. I resolved some of my left-over issues with therapy; I now know how to properly set boundaries. I have disposed of all people, situations and circumstances that were toxic to me, because I finally had the proper tools in my tool belt to do so. I started Pilates, after I completed almost 2 years of personal training, and bought a bicycle, which I love riding down to the beach. I started meditation again. I sold my house and moved with my husband to a beautiful, amazingly designed and huge space in Playa Vista, with a bathroom the size of a small country 😉
I left no stone unturned. I didn’t sit on my butt, feeling sorry for myself and waiting for things to magically change or come to me. I did whatever I had to take and while there are still things left to do, I am sure as hell a whole lot closer. I went through a lot, but I am living the American dream, because I worked my butt off for it. And if I can do it, so can you!