Life can be a scary thing if one believes what has been taught for centuries by various religions. And why not give up, when none of it is in our control and it’s not our vault?
Personally, I don’t believe in curses, bad omens or karma; at least not in the buddhist sense. No, I do not believe that any current struggles are caused by something I did ten lifetimes ago. And because I don’t buy into it, it doesn’t create more of it!
I believe that my mind creates my reality. My life circumstances are almost always in direct correlation to the head space I am in. I can create greatness and I can create mediocre, or downright bad situations, if I do buy into another’s reality. So yes, we create reality. We create our circumstances and our possibilities or lack thereof; most of the time!
See, my beliefs are somewhat of a paradox. I do believe in something bigger than me, but I do not rely on it or wait to be rescued by it. I don’t really believe in coincidence, but I also believe that sometimes stuff just happens. Good things happen to rotten people and bad things happen to amazing people. My brain is not highly enough developed to claim to understand what the purpose of everything is. I can sometimes see the path that lead to a certain situation, but as always, that path does not become clear until I am well on my way. While I am in the midst of the proverbial s*** storm, things sometimes seem bleak, confusing and definitely anything but clear.
These days we are constantly made wrong by those who claim to have the answers. Either, we are considered negative when we are down, or we are considerate delusional when we are too positive. My personal perception is usually based on the default mode of a person, not the occasional one.
So how do we get past our most trying times without going crazy, thinking we were cursed, have bad karma, and most importantly, without creating a pattern of more bad stuff? Well, that depends on you. I can share what works for me and why it works, but I am aware that this may not be the same for another. So here is a random list of actions I take when I am in a negative space.
- Every time I feel sad, defeated, out of control, miserable or otherwise impaired I do these things
Yoga – nothing gets me out of a bad head space better than doing Yoga. Yoga is not only good for my body, but it is excellent for my mind. It teaches me to be in the moment, gets rid of anxiety, anger or fear and makes me feel refreshed and energized. When I am refreshed and energized I can create and visualize.Visualize and network – The worst thing I can do is sit around, avoid everyone and do nothing. Therefore I visualize where I see myself and what I will be doing. I contact friends, business partners and whomever else I believe can offer some helpful and constructive feedback or advice, and people who are where I want to be! Of course, sometimes I simply call a friend to vent.
Don’t beat myself up – Sometimes I am down. Generally, this mood can be attributed to events in my life at the current time. I don’t go back and dig up any old failures, just so I can wallow in my own self-pity or come up with an irrational belief of being cursed or born under a bad/unlucky star. I understand that what happened right now made me feel the way it did and give myself space to grieve, be angry, disappointed, or whatever else I may feel. I realize that this, too, shall pass and when I do draw from the past, I draw from all the times I have emerged victorious, regardless of how bleak things may have seemed. I know there is the need for the occasional misery fest, where I sit around, cry into a pint of vanilla ice cream, blame everyone else and feel victimized. But, the more I actually learned how to turn a negative into a positive emotion, the less I am now able to hold on to the misery. I tend to feel silly and start laughing the longer I sit around engaging in the blame game.
Laugh – I do anything I can to not stay in a bad mood. One of the best ways to make that happen is laughing. I find a funny movie or show and watch it. There is simply no way that one can watch The Colbert Report, for example, without cracking up. In addition, downers and miserable people, or those who trigger bad emotions in me, are not allowed. I generally don’t tolerate them in my life, period. But when I am down, I won’t tolerate any form of connection or communication with anyone who does not make me feel good about myself. The more you surround yourself with people who are good for your mind, body, soul and heart, the more you will become like them! Actions and emotions are contagious! Negative people breed negative behaviors and lives situations, just like positive people breed the opposite.
Joyous actions – Whatever makes me happy, I do it! Sometimes that means playing my favorite computer game for hours, other times I just want to write, read or watch TV. Whatever makes me happy is allowed. Of course, Yoga is on the top of the list.
Decisions – I choose not do be helpless and powerless every time something goes wrong in my life. I have created the life I wanted and about 90% of the time I am successful and happy. I choose to not draw from the remaining 10%, which are not so successful or great. I choose to never give up and to see the glass as half full. No matter what happens, I choose what it does to me and how I perceive it.
The idea here is always the same. I am creating a pattern and the pattern becomes my main mode, overwriting unhappiness and old, stuck patterns that no longer serve me.
We do largely create our own universe. I know that what goes down comes back up and that the overall sum of my actions, thoughts, emotions and physical health create a consistent pattern of happiness and well being.
Bad things happen. Sometimes, they seem to repeat itself and other times they are so hard on us that it seems hard to get back up. But with an arsenal of tools and positive patterns that took me years to develop, I am able to strongly influence just how hard of a blow I am taking and how long I am beaten down by the things I have no control over.
In the end, we are defined by our consistent actions, especially in our darkest moments. We are defined by how we consistently treat others, in our best and in our hardest times. And the more we choose to engage in one way or the other, the more we will become that which we do. So, when things go bad, realize that you always have a choice. The more you make the right choices for yourself, the more they will become who you are and lay out the path to your continued success in life.