The Party Is Here!

party_night

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Friday night; oops, Saturday morning and the party is right here! Tonight’s attendees are me, myself, I, Mr. Laptop, Sake, Salem, Roku and “ID Discovery!” The show is “Very Bad Girls.” Good times…woot!

I recently had a conversation with one of my super close friends. She is single and dating and the stories I am getting from her are quite scary. She is on a couple “serious” dating sites and disappointed and shocked at the quality of guys she is meeting. She reported there are tons of players and we frequently ponder why they would spend time creating a profile on a serious dating site, when they are only interested in getting laid. Going down that road is equally as useless as pondering why successful men date younger and intellectually inferior women. Thank god I am married; I’d be single for the rest of my life.

I feel bad, because I am the perfect Vulcan. I approach many things from a point of logic and, well, math. I already expect that people are largely delusional, quite often disappointing and at best, rather boring and therefore wouldn’t even bother to “date.” If I’d be single, I’d probably stay so. I simply wouldn’t be able, or willing to put up the energy to go searching for a partner. I have always lived, in my own way, on the outside. I have tried the “outside” groups and found them all disappointing and not really different at all. While most may find me terribly judgmental, I find myself merely bored with the endeavor of constantly attempting to explain myself. I am not claiming that I operate on a higher or lower level; I simply operate on a different frequency. Trying out the “normal” frequency is usually rather exhausting for me, because I honestly don’t know how to do it.

So, it is quite easy for me to define “party” as me hanging out with myself, pondering human nature and watching anything and everything that shows different behaviors. By now I have moved on to “Hoarders.” Most people find it depressing; I find it fascinating. The human mind is fascinating and so are all the intricaciesĀ of human behavior. Ah, how I wished I could have studied psychiatry. I’d love to be a neurosurgeon or psychiatrist. Mental illness is quite fascinating to me.

And now I have moved on to “Freakshow.” See the pattern yet? šŸ˜‰ Ack, digressing again. My point is that I am quite fascinated by people who put themselves out there. Those who are dating, partying, love large crowds, go to concerts and love big gatherings. I often wished I was more like the norm. Meanwhile, I am hanging out right here, with Mr. Laptop, typing random thoughts onto my blog. Ahhhh, what can I say? Living on the edge! Excitement, I am doing it right!


Life of a Corporate Chick – Another Day

 

Candy Crush

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, this is me. Thank god I have no kids. I come home, I take care of the 2 cats and the 2 dogs and then I do…nothing.

Today, I had another awesome day in corporate America. I think management never gets old, because every time I think I’ve heard or seen it all, another “great” thing happens and I am left all the wiser…and smarter…maybe more amazed at the human race. And then I wonder “was I ever this (<—insert smart, crazy, delusional, bizarre, or whatever descriptive term may come to mind)? Granted, I am no different than most people. I have highly selective memory that isn’t that great to begin with. I forget things a lot and being human, my mind inserts whatever great thing it wants to. That’s the beauty of the the brain. Alas, I digress.

So, I leave and realize that I can’t find my pedometer. Intuit gave me a mileage counter and yes, it pays me to walk. Of course, this concept doesn’t work well if one can’t find the pedometer. I assume it ended up in the washing machine after my trip to Vegas, but I can’t be bothered to check it now. Hence, at this time this theory can neither be confirmed, nor denied. All I know is that said pedometer is missing. Ack, I logged a lot of miles in Vegas!

On my way home I ponder if I need business attire for another conference held by MasterCard. I don’t do suits. A suit is like the oxygen mask in the airplane; “only use in case of emergency.” As I wonder about this dilemma some more, I realize that I got rid of all my suits. Awesome! Problem solved. I have “businessy” clothes and that’ll have to do. Oops, I just remembered, there is another conference in Vegas coming up. This time I am going to be at the MGM. I wonder what slots they have there. I like the Wizard of Oz one; or one with mummies or other Egyptian stuff. Maybe I should attempt Blackjack again. Hm, that didn’t go too well at the Aria last week. Oh look, squirrel.

So, I get home, I plug in Knopfette (my electric car) and get the mail. As I walk upstairs I am again in deep thought about all the things I still have to do for work. I have a huge list of things to do. I need a clone. A 30 hour day would also be great. The more hours I have, the more I fill up. At least I am never bored. Sadly, I don’t have a lot of time to play Candy Crush. I wonder if I should log in and play World of Warcraft for a while. And what should I have for dinner? Should I have any dinner? I had a banana not too long ago. Shit, I missed Yoga again.
All the while, I am attempting to open my front door with the mailbox key…

“If I only had a brain…” I wonder, does MGM have a Wizard of Oz slot machine?