True Love – Make it So

true love

Love – nothing will ever be more elevating, more empowering and more worthwhile than true love. And while all know this, it often seems to elude many of us for various reasons. So we run around disconnected, distracting ourselves, while hoping that the magic answer and bullet will appear, out of thin air, at our doorstep and in our lives.

Love is actually not as elusive and hard to find, if you know what you are looking for; and I believe that is where it becomes difficult. We are sold on what we should believe in and how this love thing should look like, missing that love and how it will appear is vastly different for all of us. We all have different wants, needs and ideals of love, our perfect partner and how we like to be treated, as well as what is and isn’t important to us. So being sold on a fairy tale created by Hollywood is often not only not cutting it, but will sometimes make us feel more off and as if something is wrong with us.

When I look at myself, I can honestly state that I am a hopeless romantic. But for me, romance never showed up in form a perfect house, 2.5 children, a dog and the man that I, as a corporate woman for example, should want and crave. To me, there were many nuances that didn’t fit in any traditional picture and this made me feel incredibly sad, “weird” and different. I wanted something out of this world and that just doesn’t usually come in a traditional form. Meaning, visualizing and craving something society told me to manifest could never work, because it wasn’t what I truly desired.

So, I created my perfect man. I started with a vision board. On this vision board I put all the things I wanted to have in life – money/success, health, love and happiness. I packed the entire board full of all the images that incorporate these concepts in my head. I then hung said vision board on my refrigerator door, where I would have to look at it every day. After this was accomplished, I started meditating and visualizing each aspect depicted. I was specific, VERY specific about the relationship and man I wanted. From his energy and how he should feel like, to all the qualities I personally adore and admire. I created my own, magical unicorn! With each passing day I recalled the image back into my subconscious – then released it to unfold without attachment to when, how and where.

The truth is, each and every one of us is capable to manifest whatever we desire. It takes focus and a little bit of time, and above all commitment and patience. Steady visualization does work. If it is love you are seeking, you might find yourself one day waking up to the very person you’ve been attempting to manifest, realizing that love is real and that your work has paid off.


Clueless?

I hate my job. I can’t find the right job. No one wants me. I will never find the right guy. I never get what I want. I hate my life.

Do any of these statements sound familiar? Do you actually live by these “words of wisdom?” If the answer is “yes,” chances are you’ll keep getting more of the same; and you, my friend, need to not manifest more money or the partner of your dreams, no, you my friend need to manifest a clue! If you want a more positive spin on that, manifest wisdom and self-awareness!!

So here I go, again, stirring up the proverbial hornet’s nest, because we all know that it is highly uncomfortable and not nice to not feel more sympathetic and beat around the bush, which is what our society does well. Let’s not hold ourselves accountable at all, but instead blame unforeseen forces; better yet, let’s blame others! Let’s also attack all those who actually call us on our own BS and don’t feed our sad and bruised egos some more.

Yes, there are things in life that require luck. But I will always argue that about 90% of our life’s quality depends on our choices. Yep, this will make the victims cry out “she is judging me! Because darn, it isn’t my fault!” I really believe that making mistakes is human. We all have made some rather bizarre, if not to say, crazy decisions in our lives; and at some point found ourselves scratching our heads, wondering how in the world we got there. Maybe we simply thought “WTF?!” Well, at least I have found myself in that boat on numerous occasions, where I really wanted to blame temporarily insanity. Alas, I have always been the type that would plunge head first into any disaster that deemed “my help.” Yep, come on in! The waters of deception, denial and self-pity are warm and keep me safe and toasty. It might look crazy to you that I keep sticking my finger into the light socket and get shocked, but hey, I’ve done it my entire life and that makes it much more comfortable than learning to not touch the damn outlet to begin with.

I have sad news to report to those who have safely planted themselves into the role of eternal victim. It’s not going to change for you, ever! Because as long as you keep sitting on your butt, complaining about the injustice of it all, while pointing the finger at your parents, your friends, your exes, your family, or god, you’ll just get more of the same. Yes, there will always be people who pat you on the head and buy into your crap of victimhood and chances are, they are equally as “successful” as you are in mastering life. Negativity breeds negativity, misery keeps company; it’s as simple as that. And it’s the reason that successful people hang out with other successful people and losers hang out with losers.

How do you grow a clue? Well, realize that while one finger points at others, four point back at you. Want to have a new life? Start by changing your behaviors and reactions! Therapy really is our friend! Don’t like sitting on the couch and telling your sad stories? Try cognitive behavioral therapy! Get a life coach, sign up for a college course, finally get your butt into the gym, go for a walk. Catch my drift? Nothing will ever change, as long as you cannot and will not change your own actions, thoughts and words; and that is the ugly truth!

But don’t be discouraged, sad or angry. There is hope for everyone and life can change at the blink of an eye. Sadly, not for those who are unwilling to take action. Good things rarely come to those who wait, or are complacent. Good things come to those who work for them and take a risk. The moment you actually start holding yourself accountable is the moment you’ll start noticing change. Until then, go meditate and manifest a clue!


Wrong! – Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong Partner

“How do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable men?” asked one of my co-workers. We can keep going on this list and replace “emotionally unavailable” with words like “addicted,” “cheaters,” “liars,” or whatever else is unacceptable to us and works against the life we wish to have.

So how does it work that, even though we vow to never end up in that situation again, we go out and attract nothing but the things we don’t want? How do we seem to know with absolute certainty what isn’t good for us and yet, like a moth to the light, we keep choosing it?

First of all, there is no such thing as “bad luck” or “born under the wrong star.” Life and the way it pans out for us, is a sum of our choices, actions, words, thoughts and emotions. And what most people are not aware of is that choices are largely made from the subconscious, not the conscious part of our brain. And just like the hard-drive of a computer, we are hard-wired to respond to certain stimuli in a certain fashion; over and over and over.

When we learn to cope with unsatisfactory, abusive or wrong situations we encounter in our lives, we tend to end up choosing them after a while. The reason is simple, no matter how miserable we are, we know now how to do “bad;” we have learned to deal with misery and unhappiness, because we’ve never learned how to do happy. We cannot live or attract what we cannot envision! This is because we cannot know what we don’t know (yeah, it’s a mouthful!).

We are conditioned to recognize that which is familiar; good or bad. And by design we gravitate towards it. The more we do repeat a certain cycle, the more we become addicted to it. Repeating patterns forms neurological pathways and literally hard-wires us to rinse and repeat. The less we do a behavior, the less we will have the neurological pathways to know or remember how to do it; i.e. we literally unlearn how to be happy and we keep enforcing our subconscious dialogue, which may consist of phrases like “I am not good enough,” or “I don’t ever get what I want.”

The worst part about it all is that most people are completely unaware that they are the creator of their misery. A lot of it is due to denial, but the other part is due to the fact that they are making their choices literally unconsciously; and again, how can you be aware of something you don’t know is there? And why do some people break the cycle, or how can you break the cycle?

What helped me was logic, at first; at least until I got the ball rolling. I did simple math. If I am now on my 10th relationship, let’s say, with the 10th guy who is emotionally unavailable, dishonest and actually quite dysfunctional, there has to be something wrong with me! The mathematical possibility that out of 100 people I meet, 95 of them are douche bags is pretty low; unless I am the one who keeps drawing them somehow.

Changing a faulty hard-drive is not the hardest thing, even though that it isn’t easy at all. The hardest thing is finding the courage and honesty with oneself to stop pointing the finger at others, no matter how much you have been wronged, and pointing it at yourself instead. Initially, it is a very scary thing to realize that you are responsible for your well-being and that you are the master of your own universe. After all, we all have been taught to blame, be it a god, our parents, another person, or race and so on. It therefore goes against every part of our being to stop the cycle and take full responsibility for our choices. It’s also a pretty somber awakening.

Most people will never find the courage to drop their stories of victimhood and take full charge of their life. If this is how they have been functioning for years, they will be surrounded by those who support their dysfunction and enable them to remain on the same path; because they chose those who allow them to keep the status quo.  However, for those who are interested I can report that there is not only light at the end of the tunnel, but absolute bliss. If I would have known what awaits me on the other side, trust me, I would have started earlier.

The path to become a creator versus a simple bystander is steep, thorny and requires a lot of will-power and support. But just like most things in life that are hard work the rewards far outweigh the trials. There is a certain freedom when we are able to wake up, look in the mirror, smile and think “I have created an awesome life and can manifest whatever I choose to manifest.”